February 2012
0 posts
I know when you have gym and you come out to your locker, is it just a crush or am I stalker? I watch you from afar, my love is incognito, maybe one day we’ll share a breakfast burrito
Day after day it’s UNFABULOUS and everyone around me is UNBEARABLE I wanna be the one UNFLAPPABLE IT’S BETTER UNFABULOUS
I hope I look like George Clooney when I have gray hair
Hello? Can I speak to — to Michael? Oh hey, how you doin’? Uh, I feel kinda silly doin’ this, but um, this is the waitress from the coffee house on 39th and Lennox…you know, the one with the braids? Yeah, well I see you on Wednesdays all the time…you come in every Wednesday on your lunch break, I think…and you always order the special, with the hot...
1 tag
I can’t nigger understand nigger what nigger you’re saying nigger because nigger you keep nigger saying nigger nigger
Chapter 61 of Unwind is probably the most powerful chapter of any book that I’ve ever read in my life
My god Bronx Beat is the best SNL skit in existence
3 tags
I usually don’t complain about having shitty days but I am so irritated today I can’t even stand it I have been exhausted this entire week and it just won’t end
timgunnscoldblackheart:
it’s not right, but it’s okay
ukshoescene asked: i'm pretty damn sure your birthday is today or it was yesterday either way HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!
WHITNEYYYYYYYYYYYY!
1 tag
I want to put deodorant on one arm and not the other just to see what it would feel like
i don’t understand the point of getting so worked up about internet companies (social networks) gathering your data to provide you with a personalized experience
yes, i’m saying that i really don’t care if they are “violating my privacy”, because it’s sort of the agreement i make when i get on the internet in the first place
it’s not invasive, regardless...
If my penis could fit through your stupid ass gauges/plugs/mutilated earlobes then I think it’s time to sew those fuckers up…you went too big sorry you lose try again
5 tags
The whole “fair and square” campaign that JC Penney is doing is really appealing and simple, if you are only judging by the ads and the new February catalog, both of which are really well designed and fun to watch/look at
If you’re judging by walking into a JC Penney now, though, you’ll be walking into the same old “upscale Marshalls” that you’d expect...
i just remembered when that “slap dick on keyboard, post results” thing was being reblogged somebody typed up the first page of twilight o m g that day i almost peed myself and i still find it just as funny
when your computer asks if you want to install 3 updates and restart your computer as you’re restarting the computer to complete the installation of 3 updates……….i think I am entering update limbo sweet Jesus I can’t handle this abort mission please PLeASE STOP I AM MELTING GOD
reptarcereal:
the condoms are glow-in-the-dark and the directions on the back say “expose to light for 30 seconds, then rise and shine!”
sorry but i won’t really be inclined to delay sex just so i can see a glowing green phallus in the shadow of nightfall
there’s really no entertainment value there, i don’t understand the appeal
so at the dentist when she was spraying my teeth with that water gun thing they use she sprayed my lip and omfg she grabbed some gauze and patted it away so awkwardly that I just started laughing so hard with that thing still in my mouth and water was going everywhere ok it was funnier at the time
reptarcereal:
if you google “micropenis” a picture of demi lovato shows up